originally written 6/13/17
i have been writing about how difficult this season has been. and it has been difficult. but there has been a shift.
i found rest.
and it is sweet & incredible & everything i wanted it to be & i want to do it forever.
while writing my last post about rest, something started to shift in my heart and i started to get perspective about what rest really is.
it is about resting in who Jesus is. in the Father’s promises. in the Spirit’s presence.
not in what i can do.
and as simple as that sounds, it was monumental for me. as i started to think about those things: identity, promise and presence, things really changed. this wasn’t about me. this wasn’t about resting in my identity, my own promises and my own presence. no wonder i was so stressed and worried. because none of those things would ever add up to much of anything.
but when i looked at God’s identity, promises and presence, my heart started to receive deposits of faith & peace & courage & hope. those were all solid things i could bet on.
as soon as i fixed my eyes on Him, everything else melted away. and i mean really fixed my eyes on Him. not fixing my eyes on what’s next and checking to make sure that He was still in my perifial.
focused. honed in. all attention given. nothing else above or before.
i felt Him downloading so much peace and security into my heart.
and each day it keeps getting better and easier. each day, i remind my heart to stay fixed on Jesus, and to delight in His promises, and His sacrifice. to truly and really delight in Jesus.
when fear arises, i tell it about God’s promises. when worry knocks, i put it in Jesus’ court. when uncertainty comes, i remind my heart of the consistency & companionship of the Spirit.
it sounds simple, and it is. but it is changing everything. the pressure is off. i get to lay down my striving- because it wasn’t doing anything for me anyway- and rest in God’s promise.
what a relief.
UPDATE: 7/10/17 (almost a month later)
it has been SO hard to stay there. i feel like i have two good days, and then i fall down the rabbit hole for a week. but i am fighting for it. i am making an effort to choice lively faith each day and believe for the miracle that comes from His presence.