i have written about this in pieces in other places, but i needed to put it in one place.
you always hear people talking about avoiding intimacy and the problems with intimacy. and i have heard it, alot. but i never thought that i dealt with any of that, because i wasn’t dating anyone or married. so that excludes me. LOL. that is actually the definition of an intimacy problem.
but as i have been spending this time preparing for what it would mean and be to be married, i came to the place where i realized that i was going to need to look at intimacy. and figure out how to relate that to God.
so as i looked at God, and intimacy, i could see a pretty clear connection between Jesus and intimacy. He became human. walked the earth. is in the Eucharist. wants to be my friend. got it. not great at it, but at least i can understand it. even though i was still keeping Him at arms distance.
the Holy Spirit, yeah i get that one. we spend most of our time together. i totally understand how He wants to be near and close.
the Father. nope. i never saw the Father wanting to be close. i always saw Him sitting back on His throne, overseeing it all. as if He gave Jesus and the Holy Spirit as a consolation for not wanting to be close with us Himself. (again i say LOL)
so in this last year, i have been spending time with the Father heart of God. and learning about His original design and desire to be close, to be intimate with us. which takes us back to the garden. the way He has always hoped and planned for us to live, with no space in between. looking back and meditating on the way His heart must have broke when He saw the choice they made. and how He instantly set in motion a plan to restore us.
it is all about intimacy!!!!!!
He sent Jesus to bring us home. not even to bring us to a new place, but to bring us home. the place we were always supposed to be. He couldn’t stay away from us. He did every single thing He could to stay as near to us as possible. as near as we would let Him.
in every season, in every trial, in every prayer, i am learning to look for His closeness. His presence. that He paid the highest price to give us. the intertwined, connected dependency He invites me into. where i can’t find where i end and where He begins.
it is crazy how there is so much resistance to intimacy. how scary it can feel. what if people see me. all of me. and that could change everything.
well let me tell you, it does change everything. and it is the best change ever. because news flash, He already did see everything. He has seen it all. and in our worst, most shameful, disgusting, darkest choices and moments, He said
I choose her
and He paid the ticket to have us. He put His money where His mouth was. and it is in those most hurtful places that He wants to move in closer, and heal the wounds.
intimacy with the Father, Son and Holy Spirit is literally life changing. there is nothing like it. and nothing can compare.