hallelujah.

I am so in love with my King.

My heart is overwhelmed. He is so loving. He is so faithful. He is so active. He is a moving God. He is a God of movement. He is a God of revival. He is a God of life-giving. Amazing love. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah.

I was expectant. And You met me.

I was worried. And You loved me.

I was unsure. And You played for me. You sang to me.

My heart is yours. I am so in love. I am so taken by you. My heart is full. You make my heart full.

Hallelujah.

raw.

well it’s decemeber 1st. As I write this at least. So I broke out the Christmas CD. One of my all time favorite Christmas songs was on the CD.

Breath of Heaven.

I have obviously memorized the song, it is one of my favorites. But it only gets played at Christmas time, so I forget about it. But as I sang the words I knew by heart today, a whole new wave of emotion came flowing with it.

I have been on a journey with Mary lately. Trying to grow closer to her heart, that I might learn more about being a strong and graceful woman, But as I sang the words to this song today, I was shaken. The words to this song are so raw. So authentic. Her prayer is amazing.

Pour over me Your holiness, for You are holy. 

Like woah. Woah. Woah. I have never prayed that before, That is such a cry for help, but still from a heart of worship.

And she asks

Do you wonder, as you watch my face, if a wiser one, should have had my place?

Can we talk about how real that is? How many times I ask myself or God if “this” or “that” is really what I should be doing? If He is sure that he wants me to do that? If I am worthy enough to do that? And then she says,

But I offer all I am, for the mercy of your plan. Help me be strong. 

Such abandon to His will. Like it blows my mind. I am so amazed at the faith this young girl possessed. She also talks about being alone, and how scary this journey is. But she asks for the Breath of Heaven to hold her together. For His holiness. Like WHAT?!? I don’t know that I would be asking for that. I feel like I would be freaking out. Actually, I know I would be freaking out. And it sounds like she was a little bit, too. But her faith. Her faith. God used that faith. He gave her the strength to hold onto that faith. Even as he watched her face. She is so beautiful. I wonder if she knew some girl would be writing about her thousands of years later, and how stunning she is.

That is the kind of faith I want. Even in her fear, she was praising God for His holiness and asking for His strength. During this Advent season, I want to strengthen my faith like Mary did. In her silent prayer.

Mary, precious mother of our Savior, pray for me that I know the strength you had as you carried the Prince of Peace. Pray for me that I have the boldness you had as you said yes and abandoned yourself to God’s plan. Pray for me that I have the awareness to go to God and ask for His strength and for His companionship, just like you did. Pray for me that my heart is prepared, more and more each day, for the plan God has for my life.