i am sitting at the magnolia silos this morning. well afternoon now. i decided to come at noon. and i have been sitting in the sun. and it is glorious. but hot. i’ll get back to that.
i needed to be reminded of some of my dreams and plan them out. dream them up and write down the things the Holy Spirit has put on my heart. and what better place in waco than the silos.
i love the silos for a couple of reasons.
i love that it is a dream. a dream in the heart of one woman. who with the support and encouragement of her husband became the dream of a family. and soon the dream of the city. and now the dream of a nation. and even the globe!
but it was always God’s dream.
sitting on this lawn feels powerful and momentous. i feel the potential and kinetic energy that runs through this place. and it is sweet.
i love that this was dreamed and created by a couple. a family. it wasn’t a massive corporation. it was a dream in a heart that God opened doors for. when i sit here, i know i am sitting in a dream. a dream come true. that i am sure this couple thought at one time was impossible.
it reminds me that God is trustworthy. He is good. He has good plans.
when i sit out here on a summer afternoon, not only am i sweating bullets, but i see so many families playing! my biggest dream of all! and i wonder if when the couple started, they new how powerful this would be for families. and for dreamers.
and i wonder the same thing about myself. do i realize how impactful my dreams will be for families? for dreamers? for my own family? for my own dreams?
i would imagine that this couple could never have imagined all that this is today when they started. even when they bought the land. it was old and abandoned and basically left for dead.
but maybe the ground help onto hope. that something better could come from it one day.
and it only took one person, the right person, to see the vision and potential that was still hidden in its bones.
as i sit here in the hot hot sun. i am reminded of something i said the other day leaving mass. as i walked out of the church, the sun was shining and it was so sweet and warm. and i said, without thinking
“mmm. the warmth of the sun is healing me heart”
instantly, i felt the prophetic weight of that statement. i felt a call to spend more time in the sun. and the Son. letting the warmth heal my heart.
to be in the sun requires you to be seen. to be exposed. to come out of hiding.
how prophetic is that!!!! it is incredible. and it is true.
being out here. sitting in the sun. sweating. it is kinda painful because it is so hot. but it is so sweet. and i feel the healing and the mending. this is something i couldn’t have in my dark apartment.
sometimes being seen by the Son can be painful. when we have grown so accustomed to the dark and being hidden. stepping out into the light can hurt.
but man. being here is worth it. i was missing so much in the dark.
there are special vitamins in the sun. nourishment.
there are special vitamins in the Son. nourishment.
i have previously been someone who did not like to be outside. i was afraid of the mess. the dirt. the performance that might be required with a sport or activity. out of fear of messing up or missing the mark, i stayed on the side lines. or even worse, stayed inside.
but as i am growing in the Father, i am finding so much joy in being outside. i am finding life and perspective and lessons and warmth and healing and growth.
and i am beginning to understand why the devil tried to convince me to stay inside.
there is a special blessing and peace that comes with being outside and being close to things that God himself breathed life in. and still commands.
i am seeing family, i am seeing providence. i am seeing joy. i am seeing love. i am seeing community. i am seeing the wind. i am seeing life.
which is what the devil has been trying to steal from me all these years. he has been after my life. and so he cut off anything that resembled life. and offered fear to my heart as an exchange for the possibility of finding life. what a shitty trade.
i am so grateful to have found life in Jesus. i am so grateful to have been found by Jesus. i am grateful to pursue life. i am grateful to be alive. and I’m grateful to be outside.
UPDATE: i wrote this this morning at the silos, (there was no wifi to publish) and while i was there, i looked up on the roof and i saw some people up there, but i couldn’t make out their faces. but i knew they were important. because not everyone can go up there. and we stared at each other for a bit, ya know when you can tell someone is looking at you?
anywayyy! come to find out! it was some of the members from the band Housefires and Bethel! some of my favorites!
but we wouldn’t have seen each other if i was hiding. if i wasn’t out in the sun, we wouldn’t have see each other.
and i could really feel a sweet lesson in this:
when you take a step out, and trust, and allow yourself to be seen, you are seen by some prettyy important people. whether you realize it or not. because they are out in the sun, too. they can’t see you from your apartment.
fear will tell you to stay in, because what are the odds that they will be there? and even if they are there, they might not be space for you?
but faith says, try it out! if it doesn’t work, let’s do something different. if they aren’t there, so what!
i am very grateful that i gave it a try. it was sweet & healing.